She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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