I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Randomize
