I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
