i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
