so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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