i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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