wanna go halves on a baby?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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