Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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