When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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