I have demons in me.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
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