Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
