sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize