fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
