haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
