I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
