Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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