the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
