she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
