You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
