Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
