Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
