the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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