I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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