Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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