Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
