my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you win again, gameday.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
