i just wanna soil my oats bro
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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