Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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