And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize