Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize