you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
