3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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