I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
