In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
