She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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