brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
organizing the empties. That sober.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
