I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
