I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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