I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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