You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My vagina just recognized that song.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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