Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
How naked do you want me to be?
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