He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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