Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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