speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
