i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
