Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
