No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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