If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
