Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
