My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
