i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
