Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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