I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
