Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
People with herpes should wear stickers.
love makes seman taste better
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
