She went from zero to smokin in five shots
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
