she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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