I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize