Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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