I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
