just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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