hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
