If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
