I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
