Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The chlamydia really affected his face.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
